literature

does he notice

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RaticonNokdindaer's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

it's hard to tell him,
and it hurts to see him.
wanting him to notice,
how much you really like him.
though you know it can't be,
the two would never last.

you fear being laughed at,
but you just want him to see,
that the stars are like the moon.
together they shine just as bright.

but you watch him sit below,
and only love the moon.
but you also watch the moon,
stand above him with no return.

you want to scream it at him,
though you know he wont hear you.
you just want want him to notice you.
but instead you just sit and watch,
staring at his handsome coat,
gleaming in the moons white light.

you listen to the wolf cry out,
wishing he could be happy just once.
wanting him to notice the  stars,
in which sit all around him.

so now you know,
and your heart grows cold.
because of how the wolf's heart still lingers,
for only one, he believes is his true love,
is just the moon, and he ignores the stars.
just something i felt like writing.
© 2012 - 2024 RaticonNokdindaer
Comments7
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sto67's avatar
probably need to show more and tell less.
use some more imagery to show us what you see and what you are trying to convey.
try using metaphor or similie, they are both really good methods of showing instead of telling
you want the reader to connect with what you are trying to say and the easiest way is to give them something to relate to in the form of an image or situation. so i suggest you give that a go

that's about it =)
hope it helps